Beautiful Bride

No, I'm not here, I'm a bit busy just at the moment. I actually scheduled this weeks ago, because I thought it would be fun. And because this is an awesome song by Flyleaf. I wonder if the DJ will have any Flyleaf....?

Anyway, I'm off skiing tomorrow, Mrs Animal will be back to blog all about it (maybe) in a couple of weeks.

So, this is it then.

Welcome one and all to this most historic occasion: my last blog as a single girl. Yes, I know, I haven't really been at this long enough for it to be that historic, but just go with it for now.

I suppose I should use the occasion to reflect on singleness, and look forward to marriedness, but I think I'm just too excited to put coherent thoughts together like that at the moment. So, despite being too excited to sit still, I'm going to just ramble for a bit :)

It is a weird phenomenon, but this whole wedding thing seems to have taken an absolute age to get here, but at the same time it seems like only yesterday that I first met Animal... The truth is somewhere between the two; it's fifteen months, almost to the day, since I first plucked up the courage to grab him under the mistletoe and plant one on him. (Poor lad didn't know what had hit him... wonder how he'll cope with the wedding night?) And it's been about ten months since he proposed... scarily whirlwind when I put it like that, but when it's right, it's right!

And now, it's all over bar the actual getting married bit. I've done my stint in the beauty salon ;), we had the big both families together meal last night, and the next time I see Animal he'll be waiting nervously at the altar, praying that I'm going to turn up... (I'll be there sweety - I'd have been there ten months ago if I could!)

So tonight I'll be relaxing with my family, spending my last single night at my folks house and then.... the craziness of hairdressers and florists and bridesmaids and Bentley drivers all descending on the place over the course of a few hours, until finally, finally.... I can be Mrs Animal.

And with that, this is Miss Sadie W saying goodbye, forever.... but Mrs Animal will be back on the blog in a couple of weeks. Until then, have fun - I certainly intend to!

On sex and celibacy

Time, I think, for a somewhat personal reflection. There were always going to be these, and that's why I've retained a degree of anonymity here (so don't expect to see wedding photos, sorry!).

Let's not make any secret about this, I am looking forward to the wedding night. I've pulled out all the stops to make sure Animal has a memorable experience too, but.... I don't have any real expectations. Whatever happens on Saturday night, happens. If it doesn't, well so what. There's always Sunday. Why put extra pressure on yourselves? Ok, maybe the pressure would be on Animal more than me, but that's still not what I want. I love sex, and I'm looking forward to having sex with Animal like you wouldn't believe, but if at the end of it all, we just end up crawling into bed and actually sleeping together, well that's ok. Frankly it will be a relief not to have to worry about overstepping the boundaries we made for ourselves. And it will be so good to finally be naked in his arms....

Ahem, anyway.

You know, I am actually going to miss some things about the whole celibate period of my life. It's a fact on internet life that if you chat on line there's always going to be a percentage of guys - and some girls (although more guys pretending to be girls, but that's another blog post) - who just want to know how good he is in bed. Presumably because they are better endowed, or more talented, than he is, but whatever. And in a weird way, even though most of those guys usually end up getting ignored, I'm gonna kind of miss those conversations.

I'm not sure what response people expect to get to the question 'What's he like in bed?', but I can pretty much guarantee 'I have absolutely no idea' is a long way down the list. But - as of today - that is the answer, and on occasions, when the enquiring party has not just wandered off to find someone of looser morals to quiz, some good conversations are to be had. Celibacy is not the only thing that defines my faith - far from it - but in the internet chatting world, it's a place from which to start discussing it. Not only that, but sexuality on the internet is a thing that I believe needs to be discussed (this is sounding like a Filth on Friday post now!) and so it will be a bit of a shame to be losing that unique selling point.

In the meantime, I'll have to find out the answer to the new question: 'What's your husband like in bed?'

They must have known!

Nice of the people at Sky to show the final two episodes of Battlestar Galactica this week... saves me the trauma of waiting two whole weeks for the finale! Not that it wouldn't be worth it under the circumstances of course...

Of course, there will be the ongoing dilemma of what to do for that hour on a Tuesday evening after this week, but I'm sure something will come up (fnarr!)

Anyway, BSG is on live pause, and there's a hot guy at the door with a cute pizza, so, time to go and enjoy three of my favourite things :)

Musical Monday: Yet More Wedding Music

Last time, I promise! After all, next Monday it will all be over...

So here is the background music that will play while we sign the register and do the official stuff. It was a tricky decision, because although the music sounds wedding-friendly, I wasn't entirely sure about the words. But in the end we decided that it does in fact reflect the way that our love for each other is centred in our love for Jesus. And that's an important thing to me, because although some people may claim they could spend their lives with someone who doesn't share their faith, that doesn't sit right with me. That would mean my heart was divided, whereas both Animal and I are Christ's and His alone, and Animal has done nothing but strengthen my faith (as, apparently, I have strengthened his). I guess this song is my prayer that we both will continue to love God first and foremost, then each other, and put ourselves and our own needs after that.

Failing that, of course, having personal meaning for the bride should be good enough reason to play anything :)

And then there is the first dance song, and running a close race with the Snow Patrol track, is this:

Don't read anything into the rocket launch imagery in the video though..... ;)

Being a submissive wife

Of course I didn't phrase that title for google's benefit! Although if you did just surf on in having googled the confessions of a submissive wife, feel free to stay a while. Sir. ;)

Seriously though, I wanted to add some clarification to last week's post.

Being submissive in marriage is not about blindly obeying what your husband wants or asks of you. It is about putting his needs before your own - basically, being selfless out of love.

For instance, if Animal got a high-flying job in London Village, or felt called to be a missionary to Peru, I would listen to his case and give the idea some careful consideration. And the chances are I would go; not blindly out of mindless obedience, but out of love and respect for his needs or his calling. And because I know that he has promised to love me selflessly, I know that he wouldn't force the issue; he wouldn't even ask if he thought it would actually harm our marriage.

Or (for those of you googling kinky submissive wives) if Animal should want to try some sex act that I'm not comfortable with, I certainly wouldn't let him have his way just because the Bible says I should submit to him. As with moving to Peru, I might well think about it, but at the end of the day there are some things that I'm just not going to do. And he will accept that - which, frankly, I would expect just out of simple respect anyway, but the point is that the husband's role of sacrificially loving his wife means that he will not make unreasonable demands and expect her to simply agree out of Biblical submissiveness.

And as a final note, a reminder that the submitting goes all ways. We are all, as Christians, called to

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Ephesians 5:21)

And that doesn't mean we're all walking round being doormats, doing exactly as we're told by other 'well-meaning' 'Christians'; it just means we're not selfish, we treat each other with respect, and try to consider the needs of others before our own.

Musical Monday: More Wedding Music

Because at this point in my life, I am a wedding. So I might as well bore the twelve of you with the details, right? Well, if you're intertested, the traditional bridal procession music will be The Arrival of the Queen of Sheba from Handel's Solomon.

And the slightly less traditional (and much more... me) recessional music, is entitled The Throne Room, by some composer called John Williams. And it goes a little something like this:

I know, too cool, right? I'll almost be sad to have walked out before the end of that piece of music.

Almost.

To love, honour and obey?

It seems to be the question on everybody’s lips: will you promise to obey Animal?

Well we haven’t finally agreed on the vows, but they’re going to be pretty traditional. And whether or not the word ‘obey’ is used, the gist of it will be….

Yes.

Wait, what? I hear you say. That’s right girlfriends, I’m gonna submit to my man. And I’m gonna stand up in front of these here witnesses (and God) and jolly well promise to do it too!

Have you lost your mind? I hear you say. They took the obey bit out in the 50s didn’t they? In the Episcopal Church it was 1922, according to Professor Wikipedia, but what the heck. They didn’t take it out of the Bible, and that’s what I’m basing my marriage on.

Actually, that’s not quite true. What the Bible says is:

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. (Ephesians 5:22)

It doesn’t actually say wives should obey their husbands anywhere in the Bible. So I guess the technical answer to the question at the top of the page is ‘no’, but that wouldn’t have been controversial enough to get you this far down.

So yes, I will be submitting to my husband. I believe this is the attitude God wants me to have towards my husband and our marriage; I also believe it is part of the way men in general are made, they need to be in a position of authority and honoured by others.

That does not mean, however, that it is a one-way street. I am not promising to be a doormat. Animal will be promising to love and cherish me – the Bible goes on to say:

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. (Ephesians 5:25)

Sure, I hope it won’t come to that, but I think giving your life up for someone is a little more extreme than letting them have their own way now and then.

Similarly though, this is what women want (are you paying attention boys?): we want to be loved with literally everything our man has to offer, right down to his life. We don’t want our man to die, obviously (PMT notwithstanding), but something in the heart of a woman wants to know her man is willing to, if called upon.

All of this, the submitting and the loving, it is one partner doing something difficult, to give the other what they need, deep down. And, of course, it goes both ways: I will (and do) love and cherish Animal, and he will also submit to me, because that's Biblical (Ephesians 5:21).

Maybe next week I'll think about how that will work practically for our marriage... or maybe I'll wait until we're married and get a more realistic view!

Musical Monday: Wedding Songs

Three weeks time, and I shall be living it up in the Alps as Mrs Animal :D.... but in the meantime, we have the tricky final touches to put to this wedding thingy. So we've spent a bunch of time this weekend picking songs with the band, given the sound guy the CDs for the bride's entrance and the happy couple's exit (one of which will be more traditional than the other!).

Only one musical dilemma remains though: the First Dance.

Neither of us is really into the kind of music that lends itself to slow dances, so we spent a pleasant evening listening to a variety of love songs on Spotify, desperately trying to find something appropriate that wasn't horribly cheesy.

You see, I love I'll Stand By You by The Pretenders, but it starts off 'Why do you look so sad?' and if either us looks sad by that point, something has gone drastically wrong. I think Make It With You by Bread is pretty cool too (if somewhat ancient), but possibly a little saucy for the some of the church crowd (yeah I know, what do they think we're gonna do when we leave, play Star Wars Monopoly?). Some smartarse suggested Lady In Red, but he got taken off the guest list as a result.

At the moment, we're looking at either slightly cheesy 80s songs or slightly predictable motown ballads. There are a couple of slightly cooler alternatives though; here's one that looks like it could be a contender:

Any more suggestions for a non-cheesy, romantic tune suitable for the first dance? Something a bit unusual would be nice - no Westlife! Feel free to drop us a comment with your suggestions :)

Filth on Friday.... sort of

I know, I've been neglecting the bloggy goodness lately. I will get back on it soon (probably), but there's been lots of weddingy goodness going on just lately (23 days, for the record :D ). If you enjoy my rants and rambles, drop me a comment or something so I know it's worth carrying on.

Anyway, here's a little something in place of a Friday porn-related rant, but which is sort of related, being about slavery. Yeah, that thing we abolished 200 years ago.

Twenty-seven million. That's a lot of people involved in something that doesn't go on any more, right? And it fits in with Filth on Friday because a lot of sex workers and porn starlets are trafficked women. Modern day slaves.

I don't care whether you like the song or not, if you have a conscience, please go and download it, from amazon or iTunes, and help raise awareness of this issue. Proceeds from the download will go to the A21 Campaign to help fight slavery.