Changes

I've said it a before, but here it is again: I need to change. I know what I need to change from - some of my internet habits - but I don't know exactly what I need to change to.

However, I am put in mind of a quote Animal read to me recently: "Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

There's the rub, right? I've been following Christ for a couple of years now, and been really passionate about learning more about him, about God and about the Bible. Now, I think, that initial passion has passed - not to say I'm not still as captivated by Him as I was to start with, but my focus has changed. Everybody knows I'm a Christian, and that I will wax philosophical on the subject for hours given the chance, but that's not achieving anything. I need to do something real. I need to leave the stream of warm impermanence and go do something else. Something that will matter. Something that will make a difference. Which brings us back to changing my internet habits.

For a long time I've been an internet chatter. Chat sites, instant messengers, all sorts over the years. It wasn't always wholesome - which is why I blog anonymously - but more recently I've been using that platform to big up married sex, and even once or twice had some interesting theological and philosophical conversations. Unfortunately the theological discussions tend to start at about midnight, and as much as I enjoy them, the other parties (usually muslims or militant atheists) don't seem interested in emailing me and allowing me to answer fully and thoughtfully.

All of which is to say, that when Microsoft shut down live messenger in a couple of months, I won't be rushing to skype. I need to move on from that kind of stuff, it's just a hangover from who I used to be. The intelligent, thoughtful conversations being as rare as they are, there's nothing to lose except exercising my acid tongue on the few perverts who haven't yet blocked me for being 'boring' (ie not wanting to see them masturbating), and I'm sure I will find more constructive ways to use the time I save by not chatting (or fighting off pervs). I guess you'll have to watch this space to find out what they turn out to be.

In the meantime, anyone who wants to debate religion with me - or carry on any other internet conversations we had, for those few normal people out there - after March 15th, I'll be here or twittering as @SlimSadiee. Mormons, Muslims and militant atheists equally welcome.

Happy Anniversary

Some moments in life just need to be marked. Birthdays, weddings, baptisms, that sort of thing.

Today is not the anniversary of any of those, but of something that is, to me at least, equally important. Two years ago today, The Cute Drummer From Church ended up partnering me at a barn dance, and then bought me a drink. That was probably at about 9pm; we were still chatting at 3am, by which time I felt comfortable enough with him to share all my darkest secrets, and he was still talking to me...

Amazingly, he still talks to me now :)

Love ya sweety x

Tip of the week

Happy Father's Day

Just a quick shout out to any Dad's who might happen by. You guys rock!

I have to admit I didn't always see eye to eye with my dad, but who does? Looking back now, as an adult with my own set of responsibilities (albeit none of them parental), I can see that he was just an ordinary, imperfect guy doing the best job he knew how. When he screwed up at being a dad, I know he didn't intend to, and that he certainly never would have deliberately hurt me, or my sister.

I think it is fair to say, however, that when I screwed things up - and I did that quite a bit as a teenager and later - he was always there, helping me pick up the pieces, and trying to fix them with superglue and sticky tape in that way dads have.

One way or another, I've also learned a lot about the importance of a good father figure, especially in a girl's life. I'm lucky enough to have had one, and to have found someone who I'm sure will be at least as good a father to my kids some day.

And of course, I'm lucky to have met my heavenly Father, who turned my life around and is busy showing me who I am supposed to be.

Happy Father's Day, Dads of the world!

May the 4th Be With You

What started out as a little geeky in-joke has, it seems, become something of an internet craze, with people who don't even like Star Wars posting 'Happy Star Wars Day' comments and pictures on facebook and the like (apparently; I have so far resisted the lure of the big f, and intend to keep it that way so that when facebook eventually implodes I can sit back and go 'ner-ner' to the rest of the world).

So much so that one of my colleagues has suggested there will be a backlash before too many more Mays have passed, on the basis that Star Wars Day serves no useful purpose beyond glorifying a film trilogy whose creator has gone on making money by giving us increasingly bastardised versions of what was already a cinematic classic.

</rant mode>

And he has a point. By mentioning Star Wars I'm pointing people towards a fictional mythic spirituality rather than towards Christ. Star Wars Day will not cure cancer, or bring down the porn industry, or do any number of good and 'worthy' things that I care about. In the US it's National Mental Health Month; Star Wars Day could be seen as taking attention away from something that tries to raise awareness for good reason.

Whose side am I on? you may be wondering. Well, any minute now, I'm going to sit down with Animal and some of our friends, and enjoy some beer, some takeout, and a Star Wars DVD marathon; you work it out.

I have nothing against raising awareness of cancer, porn, depression or any number of other things, and maybe days for those have a place on the social networks of the intertubes. But Star Wars Day is just a bit of harmless (if geeky) fun, and sometimes a little bit of fun can be just what's needed.

Happy Star Wars Day everybody, May the 4th be with you.

Awww bless him

Animal cried too, soppy thing. Not quite when I expected it, but it was a lovely moment. :)

So, this is it then.

Welcome one and all to this most historic occasion: my last blog as a single girl. Yes, I know, I haven't really been at this long enough for it to be that historic, but just go with it for now.

I suppose I should use the occasion to reflect on singleness, and look forward to marriedness, but I think I'm just too excited to put coherent thoughts together like that at the moment. So, despite being too excited to sit still, I'm going to just ramble for a bit :)

It is a weird phenomenon, but this whole wedding thing seems to have taken an absolute age to get here, but at the same time it seems like only yesterday that I first met Animal... The truth is somewhere between the two; it's fifteen months, almost to the day, since I first plucked up the courage to grab him under the mistletoe and plant one on him. (Poor lad didn't know what had hit him... wonder how he'll cope with the wedding night?) And it's been about ten months since he proposed... scarily whirlwind when I put it like that, but when it's right, it's right!

And now, it's all over bar the actual getting married bit. I've done my stint in the beauty salon ;), we had the big both families together meal last night, and the next time I see Animal he'll be waiting nervously at the altar, praying that I'm going to turn up... (I'll be there sweety - I'd have been there ten months ago if I could!)

So tonight I'll be relaxing with my family, spending my last single night at my folks house and then.... the craziness of hairdressers and florists and bridesmaids and Bentley drivers all descending on the place over the course of a few hours, until finally, finally.... I can be Mrs Animal.

And with that, this is Miss Sadie W saying goodbye, forever.... but Mrs Animal will be back on the blog in a couple of weeks. Until then, have fun - I certainly intend to!

They must have known!

Nice of the people at Sky to show the final two episodes of Battlestar Galactica this week... saves me the trauma of waiting two whole weeks for the finale! Not that it wouldn't be worth it under the circumstances of course...

Of course, there will be the ongoing dilemma of what to do for that hour on a Tuesday evening after this week, but I'm sure something will come up (fnarr!)

Anyway, BSG is on live pause, and there's a hot guy at the door with a cute pizza, so, time to go and enjoy three of my favourite things :)

Valentine's Day

With apologies to my single friends, I like Valentine’s Day. Maybe it does help having a fiancé who wants to take me out for a romantic meal, and on our first Valentines together sent me flowers at work (this year he brought them to me at home in person – arguably less romantic, definitely less embarrassing!).

But this year I came across an entirely different phenomenon: The Conversation About V-Day Sex. Now it does take a certain kind of bluntness, or the anonymity of the internet, to start that conversation, yet I did find myself having it a couple of times yesterday. And you know what? That’s fine. It is, after all, the last time I’ll be able to have The Conversation, so why not go for it.

So how come, 5 weeks before getting married, I didn’t get any on Valentine’s Day? Well, if you just googled your way in here looking for Valentine’s Day sex, it’s probably 2013 by now. But what the heck, if you still want to know why I didn’t get any last year, despite having a gorgeous fiancé, feel free to ask. I’m not shy about having that conversation.

How the hell did that happen?

It's been sort of looming in the future for months now, something I've been simultaneously longing for and dreading, but then, all of a sudden, it hits me:

I'm getting married next month!!!!!!!!

 

Cute

I haven't been feeling myself for the last few days, so I'm not rambling on loads this week. But since no-one's reading, it hardly matters. Here's a picture.

Fotoshop by Adobé

This commercial isn't real, and neither are society's standards of beauty.

It's funny (sort of) because it's true... Pro-pixel intensifying fauxtanical hydro-jargon microbead extract ftw!

Nicked from jesserosten.com.
Full post and behind the scenes vid here.

This should work...

Nicked from iwastesomuchtime.com

Maybe I need one of these...

Confession time

Sometimes this celibacy gig really, really sucks. Something tells me this could be the longest 73 days of my life.

What happened?

Borrowed from iwastesomuchtime.com

Seriously?

Some parents, it seems, will blame the TV for problems that are not really problems.

I'm pretty sure I was jumping in muddy puddles before Peppa was a twinkle in Daddy Pig's eye. And probably demanding chocolate cake for breakfast, lunch and dinner, for all the good it did me. (Just say no, parents!)

A sense of perspective can be a healthy thing sometimes.

2011 v 2012

There were a couple of big moments for me in 2011 - I got baptised; I turned 25, and got The Ring* for my birthday (well, on my birthday, it was for agreeing to marry Animal**); then I moved out of the house I've shared with my bff for the last few years and into the house that I will soon share with Animal.

All pretty big things, and although 2010 will always be the year my life got flipped, turned upside down (that's another story, more of which I may share if anyone asks), I think it's fair to say that 2012 is going to be a whole lot more awesome.

The reason for this expectation of awesomeness? Only the most exciting, terrifying event imaginable. Yep, in about 81 days (who's counting?) I will be Mrs Animal. 

I honestly have no idea what else the year will bring... my plans extend as far as the honeymoon, and then everything will have changed for me.

So, I guess, watch this space...

*Not a LotR geek reference, an actual sapphire & diamond ring.
**The drummer in my life

So that was Christmas...

I hope you had fun.

There is an interesting phenomenon I've noticed the last couple of Christmases, which is that of people asking me really weird questions, based purely on the fact that I'm one of those Christians now. I don't mean sensible questions about why I believe all that baby Jesus stuff, I mean silly ones like these...

Q: You do know Jesus wasn't even born in December, don't you?
A: Well, so what, smart-arse, you don't believe he was born at all but you don't have any problem partying down do you?

Q: Doesn't it bother you that most of the people singing about Jesus aren't Christians?
A: Well, since for 24 years all I knew about Jesus was what I learnt from Christmas Carols, no, not really. Admittedly Christmas songs barely scratch the surface of the tip of the iceberg of what Jesus is about, but it's a start. They showed me He was there, so that when the time came I had some idea where to look for Him.

Q: Did you know Santa is an anagram of Satan?
A: Yes, I did, and I see he brought you a dictionary this year. Not before time either, dead hick.

Seriously though, don't let that stop you all asking me about these things. I do like having sensible conversations about them, either here or in private emails, but some of these questions just come up repeatedly from friends, colleagues and relatives, for whatever reason. Still, why not start the year with a rant, eh?

These aren't the snowflakes you're looking for...

I am so decorating my place with these!

Print out the patterns from here!

Darth Vader is a little disappointing, but the Stormtrooper snowflake totally rocks :)

(seen first at Geekologie)