Changes

I've said it a before, but here it is again: I need to change. I know what I need to change from - some of my internet habits - but I don't know exactly what I need to change to.

However, I am put in mind of a quote Animal read to me recently: "Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

There's the rub, right? I've been following Christ for a couple of years now, and been really passionate about learning more about him, about God and about the Bible. Now, I think, that initial passion has passed - not to say I'm not still as captivated by Him as I was to start with, but my focus has changed. Everybody knows I'm a Christian, and that I will wax philosophical on the subject for hours given the chance, but that's not achieving anything. I need to do something real. I need to leave the stream of warm impermanence and go do something else. Something that will matter. Something that will make a difference. Which brings us back to changing my internet habits.

For a long time I've been an internet chatter. Chat sites, instant messengers, all sorts over the years. It wasn't always wholesome - which is why I blog anonymously - but more recently I've been using that platform to big up married sex, and even once or twice had some interesting theological and philosophical conversations. Unfortunately the theological discussions tend to start at about midnight, and as much as I enjoy them, the other parties (usually muslims or militant atheists) don't seem interested in emailing me and allowing me to answer fully and thoughtfully.

All of which is to say, that when Microsoft shut down live messenger in a couple of months, I won't be rushing to skype. I need to move on from that kind of stuff, it's just a hangover from who I used to be. The intelligent, thoughtful conversations being as rare as they are, there's nothing to lose except exercising my acid tongue on the few perverts who haven't yet blocked me for being 'boring' (ie not wanting to see them masturbating), and I'm sure I will find more constructive ways to use the time I save by not chatting (or fighting off pervs). I guess you'll have to watch this space to find out what they turn out to be.

In the meantime, anyone who wants to debate religion with me - or carry on any other internet conversations we had, for those few normal people out there - after March 15th, I'll be here or twittering as @SlimSadiee. Mormons, Muslims and militant atheists equally welcome.

Resolution Baby

It's the New Year, time for a fresh start, rebooting all the crap that built up over the last 12 months, detoxing, quitting your vices and generally growing the heck up. Right?

Meh.

Good intentions and all, exercising or dieting off that Christmas excess, that's all good, sure. But really, how long does it all last? Couple of months? A week or two? Already broken yours? Or have you resolved to give something up for Lent (and if you don't know how that one ends, ask your dad)?

I guess there may be people who keep their New Years Resolutions, but I don't think I'm doing anyone any disservice in saying that most people probably make them out of post-gluttony guilt, to make themselves feel better until they've forgotten whatever they felt bad about and then go straight back to their old ways.

I say this not in judgement, but empathy, because every New Years resolution I ever made went pear shaped pretty early on. So no, I didn't make any this year. I think things will change this year. I know there are things I want (and need) to change in order for that to happen - more on that story later.

Suffice to say that if changes should be made, make them. Allowing bad habits to go on unchecked until some arbitrary date helps no-one. I can't keep New Years resolutions, but I have made a lot of changes in the way I live over the last few years, and by making the changes straight away, I've kept them up. If a change is worth making, it's worth keeping up, and that's why I won't force any changes just because I have a new calendar.

Oh, and if you were wondering, Resolution Baby is almost the title of a Transvision Vamp single. Ask your dad. Or ask mine, he was a fan.