Being a submissive wife

Of course I didn't phrase that title for google's benefit! Although if you did just surf on in having googled the confessions of a submissive wife, feel free to stay a while. Sir. ;)

Seriously though, I wanted to add some clarification to last week's post.

Being submissive in marriage is not about blindly obeying what your husband wants or asks of you. It is about putting his needs before your own - basically, being selfless out of love.

For instance, if Animal got a high-flying job in London Village, or felt called to be a missionary to Peru, I would listen to his case and give the idea some careful consideration. And the chances are I would go; not blindly out of mindless obedience, but out of love and respect for his needs or his calling. And because I know that he has promised to love me selflessly, I know that he wouldn't force the issue; he wouldn't even ask if he thought it would actually harm our marriage.

Or (for those of you googling kinky submissive wives) if Animal should want to try some sex act that I'm not comfortable with, I certainly wouldn't let him have his way just because the Bible says I should submit to him. As with moving to Peru, I might well think about it, but at the end of the day there are some things that I'm just not going to do. And he will accept that - which, frankly, I would expect just out of simple respect anyway, but the point is that the husband's role of sacrificially loving his wife means that he will not make unreasonable demands and expect her to simply agree out of Biblical submissiveness.

And as a final note, a reminder that the submitting goes all ways. We are all, as Christians, called to

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Ephesians 5:21)

And that doesn't mean we're all walking round being doormats, doing exactly as we're told by other 'well-meaning' 'Christians'; it just means we're not selfish, we treat each other with respect, and try to consider the needs of others before our own.