Sex, marriage, purity and being a BarlowGirl

This is a question I ask myself more than other people ask me: why would a reasonably attractive, healthy woman in her 20s suddenly give up sex? It certainly wasn't because I didn't like it!

Neither is it because I believe sex is in some way evil, or sinful in itself. On the contrary, I believe God made sex to be fun, something for us to enjoy.

So, I ask myself, why not enjoy it? Why torture yourself with this born-again virgin stuff?

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. (Gen 2:24)

'One flesh' is a symbol of the inseparable union God intended for husband and wife, and in the act of sex, it finds its physical expression. I believe God intended sex to be fun for one man, and one woman, within the confines of an inseparable union - marriage.

The same is clearly reiterated throughout the New Testament:

But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. (1Cor 7:2)

Precisely because sex is so much fun, us weak humans are often tempted to abuse it. Marriage is held repeatedly to God's ideal for sex, and the way to avoid that temptation.

But why marriage? You're as committed to Animal now as you will be in 66 days time, why wait for a bit of paper?

Well yes, I am as committed to him now as I ever will be, but I am not his wife. For us, marriage isn't about a bit of paper and a ring, it's about having a big party committing our relationship to God, and receiving his blessing. It's God that will seal the marriage, not a registrar.

But let's not forget that although sex is fun, it makes babies. It seems obvious to me that well-balanced children need the influence of a mother and a father. (I'm not judging single parents here; they're doing a tough job under imperfect circumstances, and the ones I know deserve nothing but respect for how well they do so.) God intended from the outset for us to go forth and multiply, and for children to be brought up within that family setting.

And let's not forget the other potential side-effects of extra-marital sex - after all, a baby is the nicest thing you can catch from having sex.

But what if he's rubbish at it? I'm trusting that we'll be compatible. He's my soulmate, a gift from God in every other way, so why would a loving God (who invented sex to be fun, remember!) leave me wanting in the bedroom? What I am certainly not going to do is take a test drive. We'll learn as we go along.

And what of purity? This may seem weird, but Animal's virginity means a whole lot to me - I wish I had treated my own with as much respect. I think this celibacy thing would be a whole lot harder if we both knew what we were missing, but more importantly, he's willing to share with me something he's never shared with anyone else. How can that not be special?

Final thoughts:

• It breaks my heart that the one thing I treasure most in my fiancé is the one thing I can never give him back.
• Although being a born-again virgin is not easy, it is possible with God's strength. And I have no doubt that it well be worth it in the end.