Dressing like a wife

It's not like me to jump on a bandwagon (or even to blog, lately), but when I heard about Kate Moss and her flippant comment about 'dressing like a wife', I thought I'd try and climb on, what with being a new wife and all.

Because, I tried to do that. Just before the wedding I went and looked for the 'Wife' department in Top Shop and Dotty P's, but I couldn't find it. There's not even a Wifeswear department in Debenhams, as far as I could make out.

So what is a girl to do? Is it, Ms Moss, even possible to dress 'like a wife' in this country? Or do we have to be on a supermodel salary and go to those posh Wife Boutiques they have in London Village?

So, of course, I resigned myself to dressing exactly as I had before I got married, much to the consternation of my husband, who wants me to dress like a wife and not a rock chick. Which makes no sense to me, because it was, after all, the rock chick he fell in love with and agreed (indeed, asked) to marry, without explaining the 'dress like a wife' rules in detail. Still, I did promise to love, honour and obey, so I will continue to try and dress in a suitably wifely manner.

In all seriousness though, Kate Moss did make one good point: maybe women (and men) should cover up a little more. I used to be guilty of this myself - the sun would come out, my hemline would go up. It seemed normal. And, yes, partly it was to look good, to look sexy.

I have toned down the way I dress over the last few years, but not because my husband expected me to. And not because, having found a husband, I don't need to look good any more! (Maybe that's what Kate thinks dressing like a wife means - not caring what you look like?)

No, I toned my dress down because I came to realise that dressing to be 'sexy' - showing some leg and/or cleavage, depending where God blessed you - was kind of self-defeating. Yes, those short skirts attracted attention from the opposite sex, but not always the attention I wanted. It is possible to get to a point, with all this skin on show, where you're saying 'look at me!', and beyond that, implying 'come and get me!'. I am a person, not a plaything to be looked at and pawed. It took a while to realise that I could get attention other ways, and really, anyone who was just interested in what I looked like was not likely to give me the right kind of attention - attention which is given respectfully.

So I started to dress in a way that showed I respect myself, but still looked good. Sexy, but not slutty. Yes, it is possible girls!

The other point to note - and this I have learned from my husband - not all guys like having their attention drawn to a pair of legs or breasts that don't belong to their own significant other. I hadn't really thought of that, but by dressing 'sexily' I may be tempting some other husband to look away from his wife. That's not what I want, so I don't intentionally dress to be sexy.

Well, except for my husband ;)