Almost ready to get off the fence

I've been following the whole equal marriage debate lately because, well, because it matters to me, but I'm still unsure where, as a Christian, I should fall on the matter. But I think I'm coming to a conclusion, having wavered for a long time.

I still have a couple of questions; I'm not entirely clear, despite the best efforts of others to put me straight (no pun intended), why civil partnerships are not good enough.

I do have reservations about the redefining of marriage; is this the first step towards legalising polygamy? Or, if Lord Tebbit is to be believed, incest? It's a valid concern, I think, although in honesty Tebbit all but persuaded me to vote in favour of equal marriage just because he was so fricking ham-fisted in his arguments. Moreover, how 'equal' is equal marriage if you still have to preface it with 'gay' or 'lesbian'? (And why do some people still refer to 'my lesbian partner'? I can see you're both girls, just call her your girlfriend, or partner, or whatever. And yes, I see that is an argument for being able to use the word 'wife', just don't call her your 'lesbian wife'.)

Anyway, Tebbit-factor aside, here is my latest reasoning:

I am pro-marriage and not anti-gay; that should make the call obvious.
I do believe that homosexual activity is against God's wishes; for that reason my issue has always been with the idea of churches being made to offer marriage to all orientations. This appears to have been addressed, so my main argument against it no longer stands.
My religious views, for want of a better expression, still stand, but if people want to get married other than in a church, my religious views don't really matter. I never intentionally hold non-believers to Biblical standards, and on sooooo many levels it's not my place to judge anyone!

I'm pro-marriage, and I have gay (non-Christian) friends - why would I want to deny them marriage (if that's what they want - my friends would have been quite happy with a civil partnership, hence my confusion).

So, yes, Ithink I've come round to a position of gay marriage outside the church is ok.
Inside the church is a different matter, of course; but again, we are all different, all called differently by God and all relate to him differently. That is a different argument, which I don't need to get involved in at the moment (thankfully!)

War! (Huuah) What is it good for?

This is what I've been up to during my recent bloggy absence. It's not turned out anything like I expected, mainly because I dropped a whole load of stuff while I was putting it together. It's a big subject, you see.

Yes, this is my attempt to tackle the rather tired argument that religion just causes wars - or at least that religion is the cause of more or bloodier wars than anything else.

First lets clarify a couple of things: first, I don't like to consider myself religious, and I don't consider true Christianity to be a 'religion' in the sense that word is generally used, but that's for another post.

This is an argument that has been levelled against Christianity and other religions though, so my thoughts probably also apply to both.

At the most obvious level, of course religion causes wars. As messed up as people can be sometimes, we still rarely tend to fight over things we agree about. Political and ideological differences are bound to be pretty high on the list of things that nations and groups of people fight over, not least because these are the things people tend to be the most passionate about.

I started looking up some figures, but it soon became apparent that there was no easy way to establish how many people were killed in 'religious' and 'non-religious' wars because, statistics being what they are, the figures can show exactly what the person presenting them wants them to show.

Similarly, atheists will gladly point to Hitler's Catholic parentage and declare WWII a religious war; while the Jewish Holocaust had religious connotations, it could be argued that this was a war against the Jewish race, or the start of an attempt to wipe out all religion... in any event, suggesting that Hitler was acting out of Christian faith is both unfounded and, frankly, more than a little ridiculous.

Many wars are like this; some have religion or religious groups involved, but whether religion is the primary cause depends on your point of view.

Yes, there were the Crusades, which plainly were (ostensiby) religious wars. I would suggest, however, that you would have to be daft to ignore God on the basis of some ill-advised wars a few centuries ago.

But that's not God's fault, that's people. Even if you accept that many wars are fought in the name of religion, the fact remains that God doesn't want us to go round gratuitously killing and maiming each other. That is human nature, not God's nature. People are basically messed up, and even if you take religion out of the equation entirely, they will still go about being mean to each other and starting fights.

Religion doesn't kill people. People kill people.

Music Monday: Girl Power

There seems to have been a wave of anti-sexism on twitter today as the No More Page 3 campaign gains momentum, and that kind of reminded of Girl Power - which apparently wasn't invented by the Spice Girls after all. So here's some 90s pop cheese for you to listen to while you go and add your voice to the Page 3 backlash :)

Changes

I've said it a before, but here it is again: I need to change. I know what I need to change from - some of my internet habits - but I don't know exactly what I need to change to.

However, I am put in mind of a quote Animal read to me recently: "Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

There's the rub, right? I've been following Christ for a couple of years now, and been really passionate about learning more about him, about God and about the Bible. Now, I think, that initial passion has passed - not to say I'm not still as captivated by Him as I was to start with, but my focus has changed. Everybody knows I'm a Christian, and that I will wax philosophical on the subject for hours given the chance, but that's not achieving anything. I need to do something real. I need to leave the stream of warm impermanence and go do something else. Something that will matter. Something that will make a difference. Which brings us back to changing my internet habits.

For a long time I've been an internet chatter. Chat sites, instant messengers, all sorts over the years. It wasn't always wholesome - which is why I blog anonymously - but more recently I've been using that platform to big up married sex, and even once or twice had some interesting theological and philosophical conversations. Unfortunately the theological discussions tend to start at about midnight, and as much as I enjoy them, the other parties (usually muslims or militant atheists) don't seem interested in emailing me and allowing me to answer fully and thoughtfully.

All of which is to say, that when Microsoft shut down live messenger in a couple of months, I won't be rushing to skype. I need to move on from that kind of stuff, it's just a hangover from who I used to be. The intelligent, thoughtful conversations being as rare as they are, there's nothing to lose except exercising my acid tongue on the few perverts who haven't yet blocked me for being 'boring' (ie not wanting to see them masturbating), and I'm sure I will find more constructive ways to use the time I save by not chatting (or fighting off pervs). I guess you'll have to watch this space to find out what they turn out to be.

In the meantime, anyone who wants to debate religion with me - or carry on any other internet conversations we had, for those few normal people out there - after March 15th, I'll be here or twittering as @SlimSadiee. Mormons, Muslims and militant atheists equally welcome.

Music Monday: Changes

I know I keep saying I don't go in for the whole resolution thing at New Year, but there's no avoiding what is on my mind: Changes

I feel the need to leave the stream of warm impermanence, but while I work out what that actually means (both literally and in my life), enjoy some classic Bowie. I'm sure this theme will recur in a few days...

Looking back, looking forward

So, 2012 then. How was it for you?

I'd say it was a pretty awesome year. Wiggo winning le Tour and getting a knighthood for services to offending the French, soaking up the atmosphere of London 2012 (albeit at arms length), and just for a few days there the newspapers were full of positive role models for girls - Jessica Ennis, Victoria Pendleton, Ellie Simmonds, all totes amazeballs, to name but a few.

It didn't quite have the personal upheaval of the previous couple of years - which seems a slightly odd thing to say given the one significant life change the year did bring, but I probably went on about that enough at the time (spin back to March/April if you want to relive my thoughts!).

But now I'm settled... settled into the rhythm of living with a man (it is an acquired taste, but you get used to it), settled into the routine of my wifely duties, I even got the new signature down within a couple of months.

So what's next? Stuck in a rut and waiting for the seven year itch? Well, I'm not going to worry about that for at least six years, but I don't think I (sorry, we) will remain settled long enough to get bored. I think there are more changes going to happen in 2013.

It's been a couple of years since God recruited me to His team, and I don't think he did that just so I could keep Animal company (although, if that did turn out to be my main purpose in life, it wouldn't be so bad). No, I think God has another job in mind, either for me or for us both, together. There have already been a couple of interesting developments which may be related, but time will tell....

Resolution Baby

It's the New Year, time for a fresh start, rebooting all the crap that built up over the last 12 months, detoxing, quitting your vices and generally growing the heck up. Right?

Meh.

Good intentions and all, exercising or dieting off that Christmas excess, that's all good, sure. But really, how long does it all last? Couple of months? A week or two? Already broken yours? Or have you resolved to give something up for Lent (and if you don't know how that one ends, ask your dad)?

I guess there may be people who keep their New Years Resolutions, but I don't think I'm doing anyone any disservice in saying that most people probably make them out of post-gluttony guilt, to make themselves feel better until they've forgotten whatever they felt bad about and then go straight back to their old ways.

I say this not in judgement, but empathy, because every New Years resolution I ever made went pear shaped pretty early on. So no, I didn't make any this year. I think things will change this year. I know there are things I want (and need) to change in order for that to happen - more on that story later.

Suffice to say that if changes should be made, make them. Allowing bad habits to go on unchecked until some arbitrary date helps no-one. I can't keep New Years resolutions, but I have made a lot of changes in the way I live over the last few years, and by making the changes straight away, I've kept them up. If a change is worth making, it's worth keeping up, and that's why I won't force any changes just because I have a new calendar.

Oh, and if you were wondering, Resolution Baby is almost the title of a Transvision Vamp single. Ask your dad. Or ask mine, he was a fan.